I'm trying to catch up

So I had planned to make a few posts this past weekend about things we've been doing these past few weeks but after the Connecticut tragedy it just feels like it would be in bad taste. Even updating on Gideons current health feels wrong. Tonight I get to kiss my three babies goodnight and knowing that somewhere in my part of the world there are 20 families that will never have that privilege again breaks my heart. While I know it doesn't really affect me it just matters so much. I've cried and prayed a lot and have tried really hard to appreciate every moment I'm blessed with. That part is the hardest for me. I've always been so quick to jump to frustration turned anger at the antics of my girls. Sometimes it might have been deserved, sometimes I'm sure it was not. Well Friday was a wake up call for me. While it will be hard to change my bad habits I have promised myself that each day I'll be a better parent than the day before. I'll take a deep breath or walk away to try and stop my anger from welling up. I'll pray more. I'll pray to find peace and calmness in my mind and to truly appreciate my beautiful children for who they are, not who I hope they will be.

And on that note - I wish nothing but peace to the Connecticut familys in this dark hour. I know your beautiful babies are now angels in heaven watching over you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.